Early each morning, I check the weather forecast. If there is any sign that the day will include stormy weather, I am tempted to cancel almost anything that involves getting out and getting wet. This is partially because I love to sit quietly inside and listen to the rain, and that is not a bad thing. But I believe that at times, I want to stay inside and hide, and that is not a good thing. Avoiding storms can become a type of denial. I write a great deal about denial, and you can read some of the things that I have written about it Here.
I have discovered that denial leads to a perfectionistic type of non-living. It is the antithesis of being real. Denial involves mask wearing. When we enter a state of denial, we freeze or possibly even kill large chunks of ourselves. Essentially, I have decided that avoiding storms entirely is not always the best plan.
Anger creates many of our storms. It is especially bad when families fight and quit speaking to each other. In many cases, the not-speaking is a type of denial. It is a very dangerous type of denial that freezes and destroys chunks of entire families. Connections are snarled. Things become murky. Grandchildren and granparents are stripped away from each other, and the grandchild rarely has anything to do with the fight at all. Family fights are poisonous, but the most damaging part of a family’s fight is the aftermath, when all communication and interaction is obliterated. Remaining in that frozen lake is not the answer for anyone. The only solution is thawing oneself out and swimming to the other side.
Move THROUGH It
Fear also creates storms, and it also causes people to enter denial. In another post, I begin by saying: “Everyone remembers the cowardly lion because everyone, like the cowardly lion, either deals with fear or shoves it somewhere deep within themselves and refuses to deal with it. Either way, Fear is there, and until we walk through Fear [and not around, over, or under it], Fear has absolute control.” You can read the rest of that post Here.
Moving THROUGH the Jungle of Fear, Unenlightenment, Non-Feeling, and Being Lost in a Storm is the theme of the Wizard of Oz, which is my all-time favorite movie.
The reality is that living involves patches of stormy weather, and we can either bury our heads in the sand and pretend that the storm is not there; or we can hide in our beds shivering with our quilts gathered tightly around our necks; or we can essentially freeze in a stormy lake or simply tread water until we are exhausted and drown; or we can swim out of the storm entirely.
Get Off the Fence
The very bottom line and the number one tip for dealing with stormy weather is to get off the fence, journey through it, and begin living again.
©Jacki Kellum July 14, 2016