Thoughts On Leaving and Not Leaving Home
for My Mother and Dad, Hank and Laura Mae Baker
I am a free spirit stuffed between two task-oriented and productive women–my mother and my daughter. As some of you know, the main objective of my blog is to collect enough honey to eventually write my memoir. This weekend, I heard from my mother, who will be 90 in December. She essentially said: I have been reading your blog. It seems tasteful to me. But I wonder, Are you ever going to do anything with it? To be honest, I probably will not.
My mother knows me. That is the agony and ecstasy of mothers and daughters. We know each other far too well.
Growing up, some of us girls go through several stages of loving, denying the existence of, and learning to re-love our mothers. In reality, it actually wasn’t our mothers who fell in and out of grace with us during that time, it is we who were struggling with ourselves. But that is the fodder for another post.
When I went through my divorce, an enormous amount of anger was flashed from both my would-be ex-husband and me. Later, I realized that getting mad at is part of the recipe for letting go. I think that is what happens with mothers and daughters. Mothers and daughters are often nearly alike and most of us were very close to our moms for many, many years. Suddenly, it is time to walk alone. A lot of emotional turmoil becomes part of the exit scene. Many of us spin through free-fall for a number of years. Some of us never land on our feet. Some do not want to ever go back home again. [I am not speaking about a physical home; I am talking about a sense of your childhood–within your adult self].
I have realized that although I live thousands of miles away from my mom now–from my childhood homeplace, in many ways, I never really left home at all. By that, I mean that I have not tried to erase my roots.
Oh, How I Love Dolly Parton!
Her Net Worth is $450 Million Now and She Never Quit Being Dolly!
She Never Denied Her Roots
Yesterday, I found a video where Dolly Parton talks about leaving and still loving part of her youth. The entire message of the video speaks volumes to me. I share it at the end of this post.
When I was a little girl, my grandfather was the manager of the IGA, which for many years was the biggest drawing business in my entire area. For a while, he had Porter Wagoner come from Nashville, Tennessee, to perform in his store in the Bootheel town of Gideon, MO. During those years, Dolly Parton was a young, unknown country girl, who sang a couple of songs and advertised the kitchen towels or the dishes that were being sold, along with a large box of Breeze. I remember the whole thing like it was last year.
Things have changed for Dolly Parton since then, but Dolly did not change with those things. She is still Dolly Parton.
Just the other day, I was listening to one of her live performances, and after she sang, some redneck hollered from the floor, “Dolly, I love you.”
Totally unscripted and not actually meant to be caught on the recording, Dolly responded–only taken a little aback, “Well, I love you, too. But honey, I told you to stay out in the truck.”
Perfect Response! Perfectly Real and Genuine Dolly Parton Response
The ushers didn’t come and shush the guy. Dolly had it under control, and she never went out of character to handle it.
Dolly Parton is a natural delight. She is a Great American Treasure. She is a Hallelujah Choir for the honest, everyday, down-to-earth country folks from the South. Thank you, Dolly Parton.
In the video that I found of Dolly, she talks about the period that she worked with Porter Waggoner and how she had to leave his show but how she would always love him.
In the same way, I will always honor Dolly Parton for daring to remain true to herself, and I will always love my mom, my hometown, and my dad [who died at the age of 92–I hope that he can hear me now].
©Jacki Kellum April 29, 2016 – For My Mom on Mother’s Day
For any who have joined my blog late, please read the things that my own mom wrote a few years ago. My first goal, MOM, is to get your book published. Keep on my back about that. Lol! [Lots of Love].
What My Mother Said posts Here