Until the Twelfth of Never – Thoughts on Marriage and the Word “Never”

Red Rose, Snow, Drops Of Water, Flower, Flower Bud

I grew up in the Johnny Mathis generation. By the time that I was 15-years-old, I had an LP vinyl of Johnny Mathis’s Greatest Hits, and any time that at least one male and one female friend gathered at my house, there would be a dance. Shoulder-to-shoulder and cheek-to-cheek, we would rock along, swearing by the gossamer-laced myths that Johnny Mathis wove with his music. One day, we would find true love, and after that, we would NEVER look at another. Until the Twelfth of Never, we would be betrothed to that one, true love.

Undoubtedly, I am more idealistic than most people, but I earnestly believed in the sanctity of marriage. I had not been married long before I realized that my marriage was not perfect, but that made no difference. Years before, I had taken the oath–I had drunk the kool-aid, and I had sworn that after I married once, I would never part. But it would seem that where my marriage was concerned, never was simply too long a time span. Where marriage is concerned, two people must live by the same code.

Wedding Cake, Bride, Groom, Husband, Wife, Cake

The word “never” is a heavy one. If you think about it, the word “never” has a negative quality to it–much like “nor.” Remove the “n” from “nor” and you have some options–“or.” Remove the “n” from “never” and you have “ever,” and that is a much healthier perspective. I looked for some quotes that contain the word “never.” I was specifically looking for times that the word “never” is not a curse–when it is more of a challenge, and I like the following:

“Good, better, best. Never let it rest. ‘Til your good is better and your better is best.” – St. Jerome

Where marriage is concerned, I do believe that I have taken the cure. I am probably too arty and too independent to be marriage bait again, and I can almost swear that I will never never marry a second time, but I have not given up on life completely. I agree with the following:

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

Especially now that I am older, I simply do not believe that marriage is still in my cards. The mere fact that it did not work for me once has not jaded me, however. I merely think that life has something else in store for me now. When things in life disappoint us, our natural inclination is to become soured, and I am probably suspicious of marriage now–at least for me, but I refuse to allow past failures to sink my ship. Instead, I have cast my net for something else.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis

©Jacki Kellum February 13, 2016

Never Again

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