My Online Dating Fiasco – Jacki Kellum Memoir

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Being older than much of what has developed through technology, I well remember the days before several of the world’s advances, and I have vivid memories about when some of those improvements first became part of my life.

For instance, when I was a young child, television shows were filmed in black and white. I remember when some of my peers got their first color television sets and began talking about Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color. You can imagine the disappointment of watching that show in black and white, but eventually, my family got its first color television set, too. My life was never the same.

I remember when other people began buying television sets as wide as their walls. As I continued to narrow my viewing experience toward my 19″ set, I didn’t believe that I personally would outgrow my smaller screen, but I did.  Now, I cannot imagine having a television that is smaller than 50″ wide.

I also recall the time before microwaves, cell phones, texting, and the time before households were routinely equipped with computers. The boy who would become my son-in-law provided my youngest son and me  with our first computer.  I remember playing Snood for almost 3 days straight.

When we got our first computer, I had recently gotten divorced, and like many divorcees, I had no idea how to meet new romantic interests. My children encouraged me to try to meet people in chat rooms, and I wasted too many hours on that diversion. Not long afterward, I stumbled into Match.com.  The concept of online dating was just beginning to immerge. I had several memorable Match.com dates. Unfortunately, I only remember the unpleasant experiences. Allow me to tell you about one of my craziest online dates.

After checking the appropriate boxes and writing my bio about 500 times, I began filtering through the available candidates for dating. I received several emails, and I made plans to meet a gentleman at a restaurant that was not too terribly far away. We drank a glass of wine and ate dinner. Eventually, the conversation focused on our sharing where we lived.

Although my search range was toward men who lived within a radius that was up to 100 miles away from me, this chap lived only 3 houses down my street. After that news broke, both of us felt a little bit uncomfortable. No doubt, we both were expecting to hide a bit longer behind the curtain of online anonymity, but in reality, this match was up close and way too personal for that.

When I was newly divorced, dating was more complicated for me than it was for some. At home, I had two children who were becoming young teens, and I also had a new baby. My ex-husband left on my 40th birthday, the day that my youngest child became 3-months-old. There simply did not seem to be a group of men who were looking for older, middle-aged women who lived in a shoe and had 2 teens and a baby.

My final online date was after I had a brief relationship with a guy who had never married before. After a couple of months of dating, he bared his chest and said that he really did like me but that he simply did not like kids. He told me that if “we” were to move forward, I would have to make a choice–my kids or him. I told him that I had already made that choice and showed him the door. After that, I closed my Match.com account and decided to be happy, smelling the little roses that were already planted at my door.

 

Third Rate Romance

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8 thoughts on “My Online Dating Fiasco – Jacki Kellum Memoir

  1. I use the Sneetch story in just about every class I teach. My, what an adventure you were on. Thank goodness for the roses by the door. I tried Match, didn’t like it, that was that. You gave it a much better go, even if the results were not necessarily promising. I think many who wonder how to meet (and how not) would appreciate receiving your articulate take on the anonymity that we hope to keep, in part, even as we date. That that’s supposed to be an asset of setting up relationships cybernetically. I, too, find it hard to believe that someone would say choose children or that person. I know that attitude’s out there; I simply don’t get. Maybe because children are on my list of friends. Pets, too. So I will be leaving soon to spend the evening with friends of mine, a married couple, the husband of which is waiting for his wall-sized television. I swear with what he has he’s halfway there. Thanks for the sharing! I hope you have a highly pleasant weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can’t imagine how you were supposed to “choose him” over your children even if you had wanted to! I’m pretty sure there’s no return policy on those, and no available “return to sender” option either. (Thankfully.)

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